This used to be a place where i jot down all the big big small small things in my life. But now, it has become a place I vent my anger, or when I have strong emotions be it happy or sad.
One key highlight is , I’ve finally resigned. :) Both happy and sad, the feeling is very contradicting. I’m not as happy as i thought i would be. The mixture of feeling involves disappointment, regret, relieve,
Disappointment because I feel that I quit to avoid the heavy workload, and that makes me a weakling, loser.
Regret because I will know I still am not well equipped with audit knowledge. Im neither here nor there. 2 years experience is just not enough. I know.
Probably happy and nervous too, going to a brand new environment, the thought of traveling there is already a big turn off. But i’ve board the pirate ship already. No turning back :(
But on a positive note, I will know and learn more things :) and people. meh.
I hate people. HATE. As much as it seems I can get along with strangers well , on the superficial level. I secretly hate that. I hate the awkward initial stage where you just get to know a person. I hate acting like I’m okay with eating things I don’t like, or I HAVE to finish my food because I’ll be seen as a wasteful person if I don’t . But I’m happy to say that by far, I still haven force myself to finish food when I’m already too full. Or eat things that I hate. lol. For that, I deserve to give myself a pat on the back.
If I choose to do things that are perceived as “wrong” for the majority people, I must also choose to ignore their judgement. And I shall work towards this.
I don’t want to change myself because everyone is like that too.
After working to 2 years, adult life really sucks :( It’s not the working part that sucks. Its the responsibility part. And the more I learn, the more I don’t know.
Meh. Before I started typing, I wanted to pen down happy thoughts. Look what happened. Complaining, whining and all the negativity.
Am I still happy?
